PicoD

Jessica Simpson has always been farty. So much so that we named her Farty. I always make up different last names for her – sometimes she’s Farty McObvious, Farty McDumbass, and one of my favorites, Farty McMallHair. At this point, Farty is a term of endearment. She’s pretty and pregnant and not that bright, but I want her to do well and live well and prosper. And I want her to be as gassy as she needs to be, even if that means farting in the middle of a business meeting and getting yelled at by her mother. Anyway, Jessica knows her FARTY (and gross) reputation, and she’s in on the joke too. How else to explain this tweet?

[From Jessica’s Twitter]

I love her. I can only guess that she’s so much worse, so much grosser, so much gassier now that she’s pregnant. Eric Johnson is probably reconsidering this whole “Let me trap my fiancée into having my baby OH DEAR GOD WHAT’S THAT SMELL DID SOMETHING DIE?” plan.

So what’s the lesson here? Don’t stand downwind of Farty McPregnant.

Photos courtesy of Fame, WENN.

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